#64 - Officially Perplexed

Officially Perplexed

7/21/05 (#64)

Pepsi is "the official cola of Major League Baseball."

This is irrelevant information in my world. In anyone's world. I can think of only one scenario in which this fact would be helpful: that moment when a heroin-esque craving for Coca-Cola coincides with one's procession through the ticket turnstile at a Major League ballpark. Since I have no interest in attending a major league baseball game (five minutes of "action" in a three hour game? Not unless they let me in free and provide me with a few crossword puzzles), I don't care which mainstream cola company got cozy with the MLB to ensure that only their caffeinated, carbonated sugar-water was served at the venue.

I'm sure the cola concession at a major stadium is a boon business (at $2.50 per cup, the profit margin must be about 3000%), but I don't understand how Pepsi or MLB think that this is a strong marketing position outside of the arenas. Pepsi seems to think that, if I like baseball, I would by virtue of their contract with the sport want to drink Pepsi; Major League Baseball thinks I'm such a sucker for cola that I would willingly endure long, actionless innings to get it. Not far off, frankly, except for the fatal flaw---I'm an RC drinker.

I can understand why some companies see "official" branding as an opportunity to increase sales, but in most cases there seems to be a logical link between the product and the affiliation. For instance, Nathan's, "the official hotdog of the New York Yankees": hot dogs and baseball are inextricably linked in the American psyche, so Nathan's gains in two ways---first, everyone who has enjoyed a hot dog at a Yanks game will see the hype printed on the package and think, "Ahhhh, that was a good dog"; second, people who have NOT been to Yankee Stadium may think, "Well, if it's good enough for the ballpark, it's good enough for our barbeque." And I'm sure Yankee Stadium gets a great deal on hot dogs considering the size of the orders required to keep their vendors slinging franks. Everybody wins. For this reason, it's easy to understand why Cloverdale is the official hot dog of the Seattle Mariners, Zweigle's is the official hot dog of the Buffalo Bills, and Bar "S' is the official hot dog of the Phoenix Coyotes. (Savvy marketing on the part of Bar "S' to tap into that huge "Coyote Nation" fan base.)

But I don't think that type of direct affiliation is what Pepsi or MLB had in mind---who recalls a day at the ballpark and thinks, "Ahhhh, that watery mix of crushed ice and syrup served in a flimsy waxen cup, that was a refreshing experience." (Well, maybe the guy who got the Nathan's dog with chili, but that's a small demographic.) What Pepsi and MLB seem to be after is mere exposure---to get their brand in front of the other brand's customers. The Cubbies fan may not buy a Pepsi at that moment, but it's one more opportunity to mercilessly pummel her consciousness with the already-ubiquitous corporate image.

Yet sometimes, the financial advantages of such sponsorship are even more oblique. On my daily commute, I pass by a large banner that hangs on the side of the US Bank, apparently aimed at convincing me that US Bank should be the new home of my regularly depleted checking account: "U.S.Bank: Official Bank of the Pac-10".

I didn't know what the PAC-10 was, but I had an idea that it was a division in college sports. Perhaps for colleges in general. (The search engine came to the rescue, informing me that it's the division that is home to Oregon State, U of Oregon, U of Washington, UCLA, Arizona State, and true to the name, five other Division I schools.) In the interest of research, I went to the bank's web site to see how appreciation for/affiliation with/awareness of the PAC-10 could assist my banking----and found nothing. Better rates for PAC-10 alumni? Nope. Game tickets for a minimum balance? Sorry. Free U of O banner for your car radio antenna or OSU refrigerator magnet? No, and no.

Then I pondered if it was a Pepsi/MLB type deal---just a chance to get in front of each other's customers. But who exactly is a "PAC-10" customer? I imagine the PAC-10, as a business entity, gets some sort of sweetheart deal from the bank in exchange for the partnership, but I couldn't figure out how the bank was benefiting.

Until I went to Office Depot and saw the office chairs in "U of O Duck" and "Oregon Beaver" colors; I recalled the vanity license plates I have seen around town such as DUCKFAN and DUCKS1 and GODUCKS and UODUCKS and each of their corresponding Beaver antitheses, each vehicle's rearview vision obscured by team emblems and gas mileage diminished with dual logo-flags flapping from SUV rooftops; I remembered the nauseating amount of conversation I heard at the office before the Oregon "civil war game" and the relentless local news coverage that accompanied it.

I 'm guessing that's how US Bank stands to gain---ten schools, each with a throng of followers eager to sport a Cal State coozie or a USC Trojans t-shirt or an Arizona Sun Devils mesh cap----and now, a Beaver's Visa! (Complete with 24.99% interest rate.) If folks are willing to shell out for every type of cheap plastic trinket and garish outfit that displays the team logo, they'll likely be just as quick to "Bank where the Bruins bank."

But that's not enough to convince me to switch.

Nor can I switch to Bank of America. They're the official bank of Major League Baseball, and as I said---I'm an RC man.

©2005 wpreagan