#34 - The National Anathema

The National Anathema

7/11/04 (#34)

America needs to consider a new soundtrack for its national pride. I'm surprised no one has suggested it yet, considering that Old Glory has been in a state of perpetual modification throughout this nation's history, each time to better reflect the facts behind the flag. Why can't the same be true for the national anthem? After all, "The rockets red glare" as seen from the deck of a 3-masted frigate hardly corresponds to the modern smart bomb dropped from 4,000 feet directly into an elevator shaft. And who in this day and age knows what "ramparts" are? The song doesn't instill pride, it merely illustrates how little factual knowledge we retain from middle school.

I'm not the only one thinking this way. Post 9-11, "America the Beautiful" has surreptitiously replaced Francis Scott Key's more histrionic ode to American greatness at unofficial functions (read: ball games), and there has been little tumult for the change. The Star Spangled Banner always feels like it's about 8 minutes long*, and those performances feature only the first stanza of the composition. A friend recently mentioned that she had heard a statistic for the woeful percentage of Americans who know all of the words to the national anthem:

• Verse one? 2%*.
• Verse two? The most common answer was, "Is that the section where everyone just keeps repeating, 'Na....Na...Na...na-na-na-naaaaaaa'?"

Face it, America is no longer a land of lyrics. Heck, considering that we only sing the first verse of the National Anthem whenever we sing it, I question whether this was ever a land of lyrics. "America the Beautiful" has been embraced as a substitute because of its perceived brevity, but again, while we think we are singing the song, we are in fact singing only the first verse. And that song has eight verses! I had never even heard the opening line of the second verse. (Can you sing it? I'll give you a hint, it begins, "O beautiful for pilgrim feet whose stern impassioned stress". As if that's going to help.)

We need to dispense with grandiose poetics about our stunning real estate and the fabric of the flag. We have become a nation with a reputation for action, not statesmanship. No one expects George W. to orate like our presidents of old, swaying us with his passion and prose, but they DO expect a preemptive strike against some so-called threat to our nation. Action, not words. This is what a nation of action needs from its state song:

1. Music that lets the world know we mean business, and
2. Music that motivates the populace to support the actions of our leaders, a heady melody which speaks to us on a level that Francis Scott Key and his verbose chatter never could.

And I have the just the song in mind. Emotionally inspiring, completely American, and no long tangents about wheat or shorelines:

"Gonna Fly Now"

That's right, the theme song for the movie Rocky should be the theme song for a new America. It's an obvious choice, and here's why:

• It is impossible not to feel a little bit pumped up when hearing that music. I'm not talking let's-drink-raw-eggs-and-go-sprinting pumped up, but there is a subliminal power to the strains, one that fervently emphasizes, "This is a big fight, but I am a fighter who is bigger than the fight." Even if the fight isn't that big (come one, was there any doubt that our team would roll over the Iraqi army?), it will be helpful to have an anthem that energizes Americans. Just a few measures, and their souls will be stirred.

• The lyrics are manageable. I'm don't mean to knock F. Scott Key, but sheesh, it's hard to get everyone united for the cause when one guy is patriotically belting:

  "Oh say, can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming"

  while the guy next to him is equally passionate as he sings "the words":

  "Oh say, can't you see by the Don's surly bite, how so loudly he flailed at the twilight last evening"

  The Star Spangled Banner's lyrics were written for a different time, a bygone era. Kids used to memorize Shakespearian sonnets and recite them to the objects of their affections; today, it's an impressive feat if a teenager can purloin a complete lyric from a Jay-Z song. People used to read for fun, but years of secondary school taught them that reading is a requirement, the object of rebellion once you are free of the tether of a report card. You know how men claim that they purchase Playboy magazine "for the articles?" Obvious lie---yet it's not the lie you think it is. They purchase the skin mags not for the nudity, but because it's as close to a picture book as they can find without reading Thomas the Tank Engine. We just don't want to read, we'd rather watch TV, and that's why "Gonna Fly Now" is the perfect national song. We've heard it so many times while watching 2 decades of T.V. and DVDs that simply hearing it tricks our brain into thinking that the dull things we are witnessing are actually on TV---and thus, more interesting. It makes real life feel like a movie. Plus, even George W could ace the citizenship exam if knowledge of the National Anthem's lyrics was the sole requirement. Here are the words, in their entirety:**

  Trying hard now
  it's so hard now
  trying hard now
  
  Getting strong now
  won't be long now
  getting strong now
  
  Gonna fly now
  flying high now
  gonna fly, fly, fly...

  Concise, direct, and they say only what needs to be said.


• The Olympics. We win a gold, they role out the muzak version of The Star Spangled Banner, and in moments every non-American in the stadium is counting the minutes while they ponder what that English word "ramparts" means, and why our national anthem writers talk so much. (Admit it, you do the same thing during the Russian anthem.) But imagine the room if, after a convincing gold-medal performance in curling, the opening strains of the Rocky theme starting---Da da, da-na-na, da-na-na, da-na-na----everyone would take notice. Competitors would be intimidated by the pulsing brass section, forgetting that they had already competed; Worldwide press would be unanimous----"Sure, they dope their athletes with volatile chemical concoctions specifically designed to evade the international testing policies, but you've got to admit, put that anthem in your headphones and even you might break the four-minute mile."

• The multi-media possibilities of our stately national bird and the "Gonna Fly Now" lyrics, the obvious metaphors that will be available to hackneyed speech writers for candidates on both sides of the aisle. (You can't work "Star Spangled Banner" into a motivational pitch line, but candidates nationwide will end their speeches with "because together, we are----Gonna Fly Now!") (Admittedly, in the legislation there should be a clause regulating the manufacture of, even the complete prohibition of those cheesy photo montages that get emailed around with their "inspirational" mini-soundtracks.)

You know I'm right. You may titter or guffaw, but deep down you realize how powerful that would be. Not a solemn love song to one's self, but a blood-pumping expression of will and might. A Type-A personality nation expressing itself in a Type-A personality anthem. Not an ode, but truly, an anthem.

Won't be long now. ***

---

* An exaggeration

** Lyrics written by Detta Little & Nelson Pigford. Why it took two of them, I don't know.

*** Naturally, this has to be instituted after the next election since no one wants to see George W. air-punch and faux-dodge like the world's worst boxer while Cheney follows behind massaging Bush's shoulders as they approach the podium for a speech on the future of America's Forests.

©2004 wpreagan